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The world looked on with great interest as Russian warlord Yevgeny Prigozhin ordered his troops to turn their weapons away from the enemy in Kyiv and aim them at the enemy in Moscow. Long a supporter of Vladimir Putin and the leader of the Wagner Group, a sort of private army fighting side by side with the official Russian Army, Prighozhin apparently decided he’d had enough of the inept official Russian leadership and considered taking over on his own.
Believing anything that made Vladimir Putin look bad was good for them, Joe Biden and his military chose to stand aside, letting the petty drama of the competing Russian leaders play itself out to its natural, or should I say unnatural, conclusion. “Coup, I don’t even know what that word means,” said President Joe in the most muted tones as he smiled slyly.
The leaders of Europe sat on their hands as well, hoping that maybe the two schmucks would kill each other, opening the door to some Russian leader with sense—or is that simply an oxymoron?
Volodymyr Zelenskyy was delighted. “Let the mercenaries kill the regular Army. In fact, please do. I had a dream last night that the Russians turned their weapons on each other, but I never thought my dreams would come true. I don’t know how long this mutiny will last, but for right now I want my boys to intensify their attacks while those disgusting Wagner mercenaries are off murdering someone else.”
While all the official world leaders probably looked on with mixed emotions when Prigozhin ordered his troops to halt on their advance of Moscow, there was, however, one other mercenary warlord who was truly truly disappointed.
“We took over the Capital on the sixth with just a small group of untrained irregulars,” said the twice-impeached man with the orange skin. “If that Russian had been successful, I would have ordered my Proud Boys, now well-trained and well-armed, to march. Ah well, we’ll take over one way or another.”
As David Remnick of the New Yorker (former Russian correspondent for the Washington Post) observed, our estimate of Pregozhin’s actions need to take into account a substantial measure of egotism and idiocy. The man is a monster: served prison time for breaking into apartments, then sold hot dogs until he managed to cater events, becoming “Putins’s Chef.” Old orange hair should be so entrepeneurial. But in the end, so far as there is an “end,” neither Trump nor Pregozhin new what to do with the chaos they had unleashed. Pregozhin, I suspect, is not long for this world, and, with… Read more »
What a cast of awful characters. If only all three would somehow exit from the stage!