The Benefits of Being President

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Teacher to fifth grader: So, Sammy, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Sammy: I want to be President of the United States.

Teacher: That’s a pretty important job. What is it that appeals to you most about being President?

Sammy: Well, I hear you can make a lot of money as President, but, you know, I could make a lot of money if I invented something, like for computers.

Teacher: I agree, Sammy. If it’s money you like the most, maybe you’d be better to go into business.

Sammy: Yeah, sometimes I think it’s better to be President because people will like you and look up to you and think you’re important.

Teacher: Well, I don’t know if everyone will like you, but they certainly will think you’re important.

Sammy: And, you know, the White House, it looks like a pretty cool place to live. It’s big and I could have my own room, maybe even two rooms. And if you wanted to have a birthday party, it would be super cool to know that all my friends would have to go through security and stuff like that.

Teacher: Those are pretty good reasons. Maybe some day you will be President.

Sammy: Oh, but I forgot to tell you the most important reason. You know, Jimmy Perkins, he’s always giving me trouble and trying to boss me around.

Teacher: Yes, I know, Sammy. He has been a problem. I wish there were some way we could make him stop.

Sammy: But that’s the whole point, Mrs. Samuels. I hear that if I’m the President, I can tell my friends to take him out—you know, beat him up or even kill him—and nobody could do nothing to me.

Teacher: But Sammy, that’s not the way things work. Not even the President can do bad things and not be held accountable.

Sammy: Teacher, I’m disappointed in you. I thought you listened to the news, cause that’s not what I heard.