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After weeks of lengthy discussion and debate, the Trump White House has announced a comprehensive plan for distribution of the new COVID-19 vaccines.
Speaking on behalf of President Trump, Kayleigh McEnany proudly announced: For all of you out there who have criticized this administration for not producing detailed and well-thought-out plans, we have created a lengthy and exhaustive document that describes the categories of people who will get the vaccine first, down to zip code and personal characteristics. Not only that, but our plan goes from top to bottom, detailing those groups who will get it next, and then next, down to who gets it last.
The first category of people who will have access to the vaccine are our most deserving national heroes. These are people who have donated $10,000 or more to the Trump Campaign. Smaller campaign donors will, unfortunately have to wait till the second wave–unless they can prove that they attended at least one rally and mocked those who chose to wear a mask.
Geographically, we recognize that some states will get the vaccine sooner than others, and we have thoughtfully designated which states will receive the vaccine first and which last. Among the states that will receive the vaccine first are those whose populations are most deserving, such as the good people of Florida, Texas, and Ohio. Among those that will receive the vaccine last are Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, Wisconsin, and Arizona. However, to be fair to needy people in these loser states, people who can prove that they cast their votes in person on election day will get special dispensation and go to the head of the line. When and if we ever send any of the vaccine to California, by the way, Adam Schiff will get his last.
To show that this administration has a deep sense of compassion, first in line to get the vaccine will be those who have suffered persecution and been unfairly victimized. We’re not talking about refugees or displaced families, they’re pretty good at fending for themselves. Instead, we will place first our brave soldiers–poor, abused political prisoners such as Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, Roger Stone, and Rod Blagojevich. For these honest men who have been treated so poorly by a rigged justice system, registered health professionals will show up at their homes to personally shoot them, in the arm of course, just as they deserve.
We know that it will take a long time for the vaccine to get to the inner cities, to people of color, and to suburban women, but hey, in the spirit of loyalty and fairness, we wish you well—or maybe not.
a great read to go along with my morning coffee, Ed!!!