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Having knocked on the door, but reluctant to enter, the high level Presidential aide screwed up his courage and strode into the Oval Office. “Mr Trump, President, Sir, I’ve got some good news and some bad news to pass along.”
“Okay. Come out with it. I love good news. And the bad news is probably false news anyway, so, give me my good news, young man.”
“Sir, while you were taking your afternoon nap, we were monitoring the news sites, and there was a spectacular announcement. We’re pretty sure it’s true cause we heard it on both Fox and CNN. Apparently there’s a vaccine that’s been tested for the COVID, and it’s been proven to be safe and 100% effective.”
“What? Really? That’s very very good news. People will be dancing in the streets. The economy will be back, and even more important, Mar-a-lago will finally be full of paying customers. That mask-wearing sucker Biden can pack it up cause it’s all-Trump-all-the-time from here on in. The best part is that I can laugh in Fauci’s face and tell all those Democrats to go to hell. It’s the Trump Vaccine, it’s my victory, and you can be sure that I’ll take 100% responsibility for getting it done, just like I said I would.”
“But sir—”
Don’t ‘but sir’ me. Get Donald Jr on the line. Call Jared. We’re going to plan a COVID’s-gone party that will put the World War II celebrations to shame. We’ll hold an old-fashioned Trump-is-Great rally and we’ll get the highest ratings ever. I’ll set the record for the biggest margin of victory in a Presidential election, and it’s all because the people will know who did it–ME!”
“But sir—”
Cut that crap out, son. There’s nothing you could do to pour cold water on this news. Today’s my lucky day. I told em I could get a vaccine ready in no time. Good old US ingenuity does it every time. By the way, was it a hydroxychloroquine vaccine, like I thought it would be?”
“No, sir.”
“Was it that stuff that Moderna’s been working on? Or did my old friends at Pfizer come through in the end?”
No, sir, that’s what I was trying to tell you”
“Come on kid, don’t beat around the bush. You wanna work for me, you gotta learn to get it out it. Which of my favorite companies won in the end?”
“Well, sir, that’s the point. The vaccine was made… in… China.”
