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In recent times, sightings of extraterrestrial objects seem to have gone down, but sightings of three-school-bus-sized floating objects seem to have gone up. Apparently these days we feel more directly threatened by possible adversaries from Asia than by Martians or ET and his pals.
And we do know for sure whose celestial object this was. When the various components of the object were recovered and inspected, they all had the same labels as the numerous tchochkes we buy at Target: Made in China.
For all our concerns about the scientific sophistication of those who might spy on us, I question just how advanced China’s greatest scientists are if they thought that maybe, just maybe, we wouldn’t notice this enormous white object as it floated quietly across North America.
In fact, I can imagine all the second guessing going on at the propulsion lab in Beijing where the idea for a spy-balloon was floated, quite literally. “I told you we should have painted it blue, you know, like the sky,” said the chief of the People’s Top Secret Spy Control Office. “Then it would have been perfectly camouflaged and we would have gotten away with it.”
In the US, the battle for what to do about unidentified sky-born objects rages on in terms of how we should react to these things when spotted in the stratosphere. First there’s the question of toughness. When the object was spotted over Montana, our good friend Donald Trump Jr, proving that the apple doesn’t fall from far from the tree, urged the populace of that great state to get their rifles and shoot the damn thing down. A great idea if only the object weren’t 50,000 feet up, higher than commercial jets fly and just a pinch beyond the range of anything made by Winchester.
Others said that the Air Force should shoot it down immediately. Who cares whether the massive debris field would cause damage to objects below and possibly kill innocent people as it plummeted to Earth. We can only assume that the brilliant patriots who wanted it downed immediately no matter what the consequences did not live anywhere near where the debris might have caused injury and death.
Finally, we have the question of how to describe these objects, in particular the unit of measurement we should use in classifying them. Since the big one we shot down over the water was described as the size of three school buses, it seems as if we are trending toward characterizing subsequent objects along the same dimension. If I recall, the one we shot down over Alaska just the other day was described as the size of a compact car.
With scientific colleagues throughout the country, I have been watching the skies 24/7 since yesterday , and we can definitely report two more sightings. The first one, cited over Beverly Hills, very modern with all the options, looks to be the size of a BMW SUV.
However, the second is smaller and an observer from MIT reports that it is also an older model. “How can you tell,” I ask. “It’s easy,” says my scientific friend. “It looks to be the size of a Studebaker.”
