Rudy Fiddles and Rome Burns

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As they say, it would be funny if it weren’t so sad.

Rudy Giuliani, a vivid reminder of how dementia can set in so suddenly and deeply, is out there headlining the Trump circus to overturn the fact that Joe Biden won the Presidential election. In several public forums, including a sweaty, hair-dye-flowing press conference that bordered on the bizarre, he has stated that he can and will prove that the election was stolen “in three or four states, possibly 10.”

He and his shamefully overpaid colleagues have been rebuffed by judge after judge, all of whom have in common an understanding of one subtle part of the law that has apparently eluded the former New York Mayor. Although it might be a highly technical point known only to a select few, these judges apparently recognize the principle that in court you are required to actually provide evidence for the claims and assertions that you make.

But wait, the latest is in, and it shows that no matter how demented the 76 year old Mayor is, he still has a great imagination and an even better sense of humor. It’s about another point of law, this time the burden of proof. He is now claiming that it is not his burden to show that the election was rigged, but that the burden is upon election officials to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that each of the votes they counted is legitimate. In essence, no Biden ballots can be accepted until or unless state officials can establish absolutely that each of the almost 80 million votes cast for the former Veep was valid.

Good try Rudy, I agree with everything you say. And like you, I also believe that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus truly exist. Moreover, I will go to court with you to win our case as long as the ground rules state that the opposition has the burden of proof that they are not for real.

Oh, I see, you are also picking up a defamation of character suit by Julie and Tricia asserting that their daddy, the late Richard Nixon, was a decent, honest man. Hey, I’ll back you on that one as well. We’ll argue that everything is relative, and compared to Trump, Nixon was a saint.

Looking on the bright side, Rudy, you will never go poor, as there will always be clients looking for a celebrity lawyer. In fact, I understand that the Flat Earth Society has a court date coming up soon and needs representation.

As I said before, it would be funny if it weren’t so sad.