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World Cup? People around the globe are obsessed with it, but many Americans just don’t understand why anyone would be interested in a foreign game involving a round ball that cannot be caught or thrown with one’s hands.
Politics? Many around the globe are obsessed with it, and there’s a saying the sports and politics don’t mix. But maybe, just maybe, they do…
Back at the World Cup, why would anyone but a true fan of the this tournament give a damn about games being played by countries such as Paraguay, Australia or Turkiye (I love the new way of spelling it–now the country won’t be confused with that tasty Thanksgiving treat). Similarly, who really cares about the results of games involving squads from places like, Belgium, Egypt, or New Zealand.
Ah, but that’s where we encounter the intersection of politics and sports.
Belgium, Paraguay, and Turkiye are part of something the World Cup calls Group D, the fourth member of which is the USA. Belgium, Egypt, and New Zealand are members of the foursome designated Group G, with the final participant being a country that you might have heard about a bit lately. It’s called Iran.
Yes, Iran is playing in the World Cup. They’ve been housed in that delightful little drug-hole called Tijuana, and will play their games in LA and Seattle–even though they may not set foot in the US for a moment other than to travel to and from their games. Unlike Russia, which has been banned from the World Cup because they invaded Ukraine, Iran has done nothing official that would ban them from participating—assuming that being a bad actor that was invaded by another country isn’t grounds for banishment from the World Cup.
And that’s where we come to the intersection. If the US places second in its group and Iran places second in its group, then guess who plays who. This would not be like the Red Sox vs the Yankees. This wouldn’t be like a high stakes Game 7 between two rival US cities. This would be… for all the marbles, amazingly scheduled just a day before July 4.
I can’t wait for this game to be played. In fact, if this game doesn’t come about from the official World Cup schedule, let me suggest that these two teams play anyway, kind of like in the school yard, for “bragging rights.”
Let’s keep it simple. The winner of the game would be declared the winner of the war. The loser would agree to give over all of its enriched uranium to the other, to donate its oil free to whatever country would like some, to set up souvenir shops for tourists in the Strait of Hormuz, and immediately to exile its current leader.
And I can assure you that Donald Trump would definitely agree to it. The only caveat he would insist on is simple: that he be the referee, the time keeper, and the official scorer. Other than that, like every other contest involving Trump, it’s guaranteed to be a fair fight.
