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Just went on hotels.com and booked my luxury accommodations at the Gaza Plaza. The Golda Meier suite was already taken, but I was able to get a gorgeous room with a view overlooking the Dayan Fountains. I’m planning to spend a couple of days seeing the sights, visiting the Tomb of the Unknown Terrorist and stopping for some action at the roulette tables at the Trump Gaza and some high stakes poker at the Hamas Hilton.
What an imagination? What vision!! Who knew that where the world saw destruction and hatred and violence, Donald Trump would see the ultimate opportunity for real estate development.
“Those Egyptians will come around, and so will the Jordanians,” he said for the microphones, while finishing the sentence with, “and if those bastards don’t they’ll be sorry they were ever born,” as he turned to those groveling at his feet just out of earshot.
The Riviera of the Middle East will be every right-wing Israeli’s dream. Trump will lease them the land from the river to the sea. Kosher establishments will spring up overnight, and although business might be a little slow on Friday nights and Saturday, there will be holy money to be made by all.
Poor Arabs will be hastily and randomly relocated somewhere (just like Hispanics here), and of course they’ll be glad to leave. After all, Gaza isn’t the sort of place where people have centuries of historical connections or deep-seated roots in the area. And screw them anyway. If they mess around with us, they’ll wish they were back facing the IDF in Gaza again.
Most likely the Ayetollah will take our invitation to have a piece of the action, having year-round accommodations in the penthouse at the Sheraton Khomeini. And certainly the Saudi Crown Prince would like a luxury getaway at the Emirates-at-the-Ritz on the banks of the Jordan, a place where he can not only stow away and murder the opposition, but where he can count his oil-soaked money.
Some people say that Trump is abandoning his America First stance in this enterprise that is so far away. Ah, but don’t worry, imperialistic conquests are perfectly consistent with Making America Great Again.
And don’t believe for a moment that the man doesn’t plan ahead. He’s already got people designing the new 52 star flag, adding one for Canada and one for Gaza.
