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It is coming down to the wire on Harris vs Trump, and impossible as it is to believe, there are still voters out there who are undecided, or at least persuasible, we assume, according to the candidates’ positions on the key issues of the day. Much like the League of Women Voters attempts to offer unbiased information on the candidates and their stances on various matters, we at Kruscontrol feel the need to supplement that service by letting you know what is REALLY important. And it is quite simple—all you have to do is follow the 9-3 rule. Nine stands for those issues that have been raised throughout this campaign that, after all is said and done, really don’t matter that much. On these nine, we recommend, first, that you take brief note of where the candidates stand, and second, that you recognize that these really don’t make much difference and shouldn’t sway your vote one way or the other. The three are what really matter. These three are the nitty-gritty, the issues that lie at the heart of the positions, values, beliefs, and policies of the two candidates, and upon which informed readers should make their voting choices.
Here are the 9, in no particular order. The candidates may differ widely on these, you may want to consider their positions, but then you can put them in the back of your mind as you make your choice:
- Abortion. Trump appointed the Justices. Trump tells us about post-birth abortions, etc. Harris would restore Roe v Wade.
- Ukraine. Harris supports the defense of Ukraine at all costs. Trump would end the war on his first day in office, by abandoning Ukraine.
- Tariffs. Trump would put heavy tariffs on foreign imports to protect Americans. Harris says that tariffs would drive up prices, as a large sales tax would.
- NATO. Trump says those suckers don’t pay their fair share. Harris believes that international alliances are what make America strong and respected.
- Public education. Trump appointed Betsy DeVos last time around and might do it again. Harris believes in strengthening and supporting public education.
- LGBTQ+ rights. Trump thinks all these people are strange. He detests the idea of transgender rights. Harris supports the rights of all people, straight or not.
- Border policy. Trump wants to deport all these undesirables on the spot. Harris wants a sane border policy that allows for reasonable immigration.
- Climate change. Harris wants action to manage climate change and create jobs in doing so. Trump still isn’t sure that it’s real.
- January 6. Trump believes that the participants who stormed the Capitol are heroes. Harris says it was one of the darkest days in US history.
The KEY THREE:
- Did Kamala Harris really work at McDonalds? Who could possibly decide on a presidential choice without knowing if she worked there, and if she really was in charge of the fries? Notice that she failed to list that prestigious position on some of her later law applications, so she must truly be a liar. And it’s obvious that the liberal press is going easy on her, not going back to the Oakland location where she supposedly worked and asking past customers if they remember if the fries were over-salted. Mr. Trump, of course, has never done a day of honest labor in his life, but he does like McDonalds fries when they’re not too salty. He’s definitely pro-ketchup.
- Whose crowds are bigger? How could one ever vote for a candidate 1) whose crowds were not that large and/or 2) whose rallies people started leaving out of boredom. Mr. Trump assures us that the number of people witnessing Martin Luther King’s speech in DC were a mere fraction of his adoring crowds. And given his record of truth and honesty, who could possibly dispute these claims?
- What’s up with cats and dogs in Ohio? We are told that cats and dogs are being eaten by Haitian immigrants, but two related issues remain uninvestigated. First, was it only Haitian immigrants? There must be other groups of undesirables in that town, and isn’t it wrong to pin the disappearance of Spot and Tabby on only one immigrant group? Second, are other pets and domesticated animals disappearing? Hamsters and gerbils might be just as tasty, and, by the way, what do we know about the numbers of ducks and pigeons in the public parks? How could we ever elect a president without knowing the full truth about this?
So, there you are. Kruscontrol is pleased to provide a public service, letting voters know the difference between the SUPERFICIAL NINE and the KEY THREE. So, we urge you to get out there and vote–at least now that you are fully informed!
Trump is a convicted sexual predator and a convicted felon. He is under further indictments. He has never read the Constitution and doesn’t remotely understand it for all that he must swear to protect and defend it. He is a confused, irrational, and deeply ignorant man. He is also vicious and vindictive and openly committed to an authoritarian and anti-democratic rule. He has never worked for McDonald’s or any place other than the real estate empire his father founded. I could go on for an hour. This piece is satire and entirely to the point. But it is hard to… Read more »