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“Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh, aa, aa, aa, yiiiiii, ooooowww, yiiiiiiii, aaaaaaahhhhhh.”
The high decibel scream resonated through the White House at three in the morning, bringing the Secret Service, medical personnel, and family members running at full speed into the Chief Executive bedroom.
“Mr Trump, are you all right? Are you having trouble breathing? Do you feel feverish? What’s wrong?”
“No, no, I think I’m okay now. For a while I couldn’t breathe, but I think that it was just because of a nightmare I was having. It was horrible, horrible.”
“Calm down, Mr. President. We’re here for you. Let me just take your temperature and blood pressure. You’re going to be all right, all right. And you can go back to bed in a few minutes, as soon as we change the linen and put on dry sheets.”
“Oh, it was awful, awful.”
“Maybe if you told us about the dream, Mr. President, we could help you work through it and get you back to bed feeling more relaxed.”
“Uh, that’s a good idea. It was terrible, terrible. But maybe it would help to reassure me if I can talk it out loud and realize that nothing like this could ever happen in real life. You see, the dream began with my getting that positive COVID test. I started having all these symptoms and I was afraid I was going to die.”
“I can see why that would make you scream sir—”
“No, you dummy, that wasn’t it at all. But that’s how it started. They took me to the hospital where Mike Pence came to visit me, you know, to tell me that he had prayed for me. And then I started feeling better. I figured maybe that Bible-spewing idiot I have for a Vice President might actually have some influence with the big guy up there.”
“Yes, sir, our Vice President is a good man—”
“But that’s the problem. Mike got the virus from me, took sick, and I guess he didn’t have as much influence as I thought. He dropped dead on the spot. That upset me so much—”
“And that’s why you screamed—”
“Jared, you schmuck, would you shut up and let me talk. I was so upset that I couldn’t catch my breath, and the doctors said that they would have to put me on a ventilator and sedate me, and that they were going to swear the next in line as President for the time being, and that he would actually become President if I didn’t make it. Then I realized that I had no idea who was next in line, and it got me so upset that I let out that blood-curdling yell.”
“Well, sir, although you do sound calmer, your oxygen saturation reading is at an all-time low and it looks as if part of your dream will come true. In reality, we’re actually going to have to sedate you and put you on a ventilator.”
“So if Mike doesn’t become President, who does? I honestly don’t know.”
“Uh, sir, let’s not worry about that right now. We’ve got to prep you—”
“No, damn it. I want to know now. Who is it?”
I thought you knew sir. Let me whisper it in your ear…”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh, aa, aa, aa, yiiiiii, ooooowww, yiiiiiiii, aaaaaaahhhhhh.”
their worst nightmare!