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Several years ago, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and her psychiatrist friends came up with a very useful theory about stages of grief. They taught us that it’s important to recognize that people react to loss in ways that change over time, and that they can experience all sorts of emotional states as they pass through different stages. It’s also nice to know that as these ideas evolved, people have come to recognize that this applies not only the death of a loved one, but to an important loss of any kind.
But
- Did you ever think these ideas could inform us about stages that an individual might pass through after the loss of an election?
- Ever in your wildest dreams, could we have imagined how well these ideas might apply to a person as bizarre as Donald J Trump?
So what can we say of Kubler-Ross re Donald Trump? For starters, let’s say that she nailed it for Stage 1: DENIAL. “I won, he lost,” declared Dandy Don on Tues evening. “It’s over, let’s get on with other things, like ignoring COVID and firing the disloyal.”
Then the Biden votes started coming in. Where? From hundreds of thousands of illegals, from scores of dead people, and from massive numbers of overly-enthusiastic voters who were casting their ballots multiple times. The ballot counters, however being observed on closed-screen TV, were counting blue ballots six times apiece and simply tossing away red ones in the trash. “My poll watchers saw this, they can swear to massive voter fraud. The results are phony, they are fake, it’s a travesty. I WON.”
Dr. Kubler-Ross, you did just fine for Stage 1. So how did you do on stage 2, ANGER? If, on a 10 point scale, we gave you 9.9 on Stage 1, Denial, then you rate a 10.2 on Stage 2, anger. Venom-spewing, wrathful, furious, and full of outrage all do a good job of characterizing the man’s public demeanor, and we are told that temper tantrums and fits of pique were equally common to describe his behavior behind closed doors. “I’m not to blame for these circumstances. Maybe it was all Mark Esper’s fault. Let’s get rid of the bastard. And, by the way, anyone who says ‘loss’ (or, God forbid, ‘loser’) in reference to me will pay for it big-time. I take names, and like the Republican Party’s elephant, I never forget.”
Third stage = Bargaining. When I tried to figure how Trump and Kubler-Ross might coalesce here, I was initially at a loss. And then it all came to me—it’s the stage we haven’t seen in public yet, although it’s the stage that may be taking place already behind closed doors.
“But Mr. President, we’ve lost in every court in every state. Even though you’ve stacked it, the Supreme Court can’t even help you here, so you’ve got to concede.”
“Yeah, what’s in it for me?”
“Well, you know, it’s tradition.”
“Irrelevant.”
“It’s common decency.”
“Even more irrelevant. What’s in it for me? If I concede, will the IRS promise to forgive my huge debts? If I concede, will Biden promise to pardon me once I’m found guilty of fraud? If I concede, will the New York District Attorney’s office promise to stop hunting me down? I’ve got something they want, they’ve got something I want. Don’t you think we can strike a bargain?”
Presidential aides to one another: “My gosh, maybe the old man’s not as stupid as he looks. Could it be that this been on his mind all along. Could it be that he was actually capable of a plan?”
Stage 4 = Depression. For me, could this be the stage in which Kubler-Ross and Trump part ways? Is the man capable of sadness, of introspection, of regretting things he’s done. I’d like to think that all humans are capable of such feelings. But then we see people like Trump, people who have done very bad things and apparently have no sad feelings, no misgivings or regrets, and we tell ourselves that exceptions exist for every rule.
Stage 5 = Acceptance. Let’s face it. It’s been four years since the 2016 election that he won and he can’t even accept that Hillary took the popular vote. He won that election, he didn’t lose it, and he still hasn’t reached acceptance.
With apologies to the good Dr. Kubler-Ross, can I suggest that rather than acceptance, the most fitting Stage 5 in the present case is exile.
great….and excile would be just fine! (and on the run)