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So I open up my morning paper (yes, I’m old and still get some of my news from the print edition of the Boston Globe), and find out that Deval Patrick is considering running for President. That’s Deval Patrick, the relatively nondescript former governor of Massachusetts, barely remembered in his home state and unknown beyond its borders. Apparently he has told himself, like so many others, “Why not me?”
For the Democrats, the apparent process of finding the right person for President is 1) attract lots of candidates, 2) whittle them down to only those “serious contenders,” 3) notice that none of the “serious contenders” has a shot of defeating the eminently beatable Donald Trump, and 4) see Step 1.
The “serious contenders” are all too old, too far left, too gay, too bizarre, and/or just too uninspiring of support from anyone but relatives and (close) friends. Enter Michael Bloomberg, who’s too-something-or-other, or more likely not-enough-of-something-or-other. (Trump, in his cruel and bullying way, has already noticed that he’s too short.) Does the future offer us a sad choice between Tweedle-dee (whomever the Democrats settle for) and Tweedle-DUMB (the Donald)?
And just behind Deval Patrick, others may toss their chapeaux into the ring. Maybe we’ll see Raul Grijalva, Anna Eshoo, or Johana Hayes—and if you recognized all three as members of the US House of representatives, my hat is off to you. (If you can name the states they represent, you get quadruple the prize of $00, and if you know when they were elected to Congress, you win the Ken Jennings-James Holzhauer Award. Answers below.)
The problem is that in this age of Trump, people look at the total lack of qualifications of the current office holder and reason that they could do better, even with the right hemisphere of their brain tied behind their back. Yes, in the not too distant past we’ve had people with some less than stellar backgrounds such as a haberdasher who never earned a college degree and a Hollywood actor. Still, the former (Harry Truman) did serve in the US Senate before becoming Vice President and succeeding FDR, and the latter (Ronald Reagan) at least served as governor of California for eight years before becoming President.
If you wanted to get a job as a plumber, a truck driver, or a lawyer, you’d have to demonstrate that you had some relevant training and/or experience, and likely had success at a similar job. Your resume would be fact-checked and you’d be automatically disqualified if you were found to have lied or cheated or misrepresented yourself. Luckily, the process of vetting for some jobs is not as rigorous as others (Wanted: Commander-in-Chief, Leader of the Free World).
Could it be that Donald Trump will come to rule unbridled for another four years simply because the Democrats cannot come up with a viable alternative? My only hope is that one of three possibilities will come through.
I’m alternative #1—after all, I can walk and chew gum at the same time. Vote for me instead of Andrew Yang. I’ll give everyone $2,000 a month.
Alternative #2 is what I dream of every night: That Michelle Obama will decide that her disdain for Trump exceeds her gargantuan disdain for being engaged in politics. She will come riding in on her white horse and everyone will step aside (except, perhaps, for Elizabeth Warren who always likes a good fight. She’s a fighter. She fights for what’s right…).
If, however, Michele decides to stay above the fray, I’m putting my whole support behind Raul Grijalva. He’s my man. Better than any of the current crop of “serious contenders.”
Answers:
Raul Grijalva is a representative from the great state of Arizona, having served since 2003. Anna Eshoo represents the Golden State, California, and has been doing so for quite a while, since 1993. Johana Hayes is a distinguished newcomer to the House, proudly representing the state of Connecticut since 2019.
