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Donald Trump says we are spending too much time talking about Jeffrey Epstein, and—OMG–for once I agree with the Trumpster. But, you see, he and I agree for different reasons. He knows full well the sorts of unsavory and disreputable things he and his buddy Epstein are guilty of. He knows that they are two of a kind, partners in crime, co-conspirators. And although he believes that he is near-perfect, the Donald is nonetheless concerned that there may actually be limits to accepting his slight imperfections when it comes to moral turpitude. Donald reminds us that we would be better off if we could only pay attention to critical issues, you know, such as whether Barack Obama is guilty of treason or whether the Opera House at the Kennedy Center should be named after Melania.
But then why do I agree that spending time worrying about Trump and Epstein is a waste of time? First, rather than Epstein, Melania’s Opera House, or a range of assorted distractions, smoke screens and red herrings, we really do have important things to focus on. We’ve got wars in the Middle East and Ukraine. We’ve got the dismantling of the Dept of Education, NPR, and PBS. We’ve got ICE agents acting as if the streets of LA were those of Berlin, rounding up Mexicans instead of people with yellow stars. We’ve got attempts to roll back all meaningful legislation against pollution and climate change.
Jeffrey Epstein, who cares. I was going to say, “Jeffrey, you can go to hell,” but then I realized that he had actually done so already.
The second reason why I despair about spending any more time finding out what really happened between Trump and Epstein is that I am absolutely certain that we will never ever find out what really occurred. I can easily imagine the sorts of things that Donald is capable of when it comes to young women. Would it surprise me to know that Jeffrey set up his good buddy with attractive young things? And would it shock me if Trump never bothered to ask whether they had completed middle school? As for “the truth” ever being told, you gotta be kidding. Jeffrey is gone and he’s not telling. So where else might the truth be hidden?
Let’s think. In Feb 2025, when asked about the Epstein client list, Attorney General Pam Bondi said, “It’s right there on my desk for review.” We have her statement clear as day on tape. But perhaps she misunderstood the question. Perhaps she thought she had been asked about her weekly grocery list. Or perhaps it was her cell phone bill that she had seen on her desk. Will that list, in its “virgin” state, EVER see the light of day? Come on, this matter is being investigated by the Justice Dept—Trump’s Justice Dept—and nothing will appear until and unless it has been okayed or “revised and edited” by Trump et al before it becomes available to the public.
Ah, but let’s ask Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein’s partner in crime. She’s readily available, sitting in a jail cell with nothing better to do than to tell all with total accuracy and honesty. Just maybe, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows that there are consequences for those who tell one version of the truth versus the other. Maybe she is cognizant that sometimes bad things happen to people in prison when they rat on important folks. And maybe, just maybe, she also knows that good things like parole and pardons fall out of the sky for people who say the right things.
“Miss Maxwell, do your swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”
“Yes,” says the sweet, honest, and demure Ms. Maxwell. “I recall vividly that Donald always disapproved of Jeffrey’s plans, and I thought it was cute that Mr. Trump constantly urged Mr. Epstein to lead a good clean Christian life, even though he knew he was Jewish. And that’s the honest truth, sir.”
Easy, peasy. Case closed. Now let’s get back to important stuff like whether Trump’s profile will fit on Mt Rushmore.
