0
0
“Joe, we all know that people think you’re too old to get your facts straight, so we’re gonna prep you really hard for the debate this week to show people you know all about policy, and that you can retain lots of facts and information.”
“I’ll give it a go, guys, but just among us, we know that the old noggen isn’t what it used to be.”
**********************************
“So Donald, for this debate–like always–we’re gonna keep it simple. First, we sing the same song we’ve been singing forever. You know the tune: There are drug addicts and murderers streaming across the border by the millions. You could stop the wars in Ukraine and the Middle East immediately if you were President. You know. Yada yada yada.
But most of all, Donald, most of all, you’ve got to hammer home one single point: Joe Biden is old. Joe Biden is senile. Joe Biden slurs his words and can’t keep his thoughts straight. If we can accomplish that one thing while you’re on the stage, you’re home free. More than anything, more than anything, Don, that’s the most important thing for you to do. So above all, focus on Joe’s mental capacity.”
********************************
“Thank you, candidates. We’ve witnessed a heated exchange between the two of you about all sorts of issues from inflation to abortion. But now, to complete our debate, we want to know if there’s anything you’d like to ask of each other. Mr. Trump, you’re up first.”
“Thank you. My fellow Americans, the most obvious thing you can all see is that under Old Joe Biden this country is going down the toilet. And it’s for one reason. Biden’s lost it. His mind wasn’t much to begin with, but he’s too old and senile to be President. So I challenge you, Joe, to take one of those intelligence tests. I did it. I passed with a score no person has ever seen. But, Joe, I know you’re too scared to let the public know how much you’ve lost it.”
“Donald, I’ve heard enough of this. If you take one too, I’ll take the test live on national TV if that’s what you want. I just have one small condition. All you’ve got to do is to finally fess up and tell everyone that you know that you lost the last election.”
“And then you’ll take the test—and let the world know what a loser you are?”
“Not a big deal. That’s all I ask. Just tell us now and I’ll take the test tomorrow. I promise.”
“Promise?”
“It’s a promise! So let’s hear it and I’ll sit down and take that test as soon as you like.”
“Okay. Okay. So like every one my advisors was telling me, of course I knew I lost the damned election, and yeah, I tried to get that jerk in Georgia to manufacture some votes. And, man, it was fun to see those patriots follow my call to storm the Capitol looking for that traitor Mike Pence. Big deal, so I’ve told a couple of white lies here and there.
“But now, Joe, you’ve got to take one of those tests and let everyone in the United States see who’s a dummy and who’s not.”
With a big smirk on his face, Joe Biden looked into the camera and said loud and clear, “That’s okay, Donald. I think everyone knows right now.”
