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Donald J Trump continues to rattle his saber in the direction of Greenland. While most people didn’t think much of it when he first began ranting about this, Trump’s recent military actions in Venezuela and Iran have convinced most people that the ambitions and threats of this madman have to be taken seriously, no matter how much they violate international law and/or common sense. Citing just a single instance, when he rambles on about coveting one foreign asset or another, do you think the government of Panama worries about him wanting to run their little canal. And whatever his excuse for intervening in their national affairs, you can be sure that those who run Canada, Mexico, Cuba, Columbia, and even Nigeria watch the skies every night on the chance that Uncle Sam and his air force might be paying them a visit.
Back to Greenland, the Trumpster and his over-eager imperialist advisors probably never envisioned the unusual and unnerving consequences that his threats might have. First, in solidarity with that large, frozen piece of wasteland known as Greenland, France, Germany, Britain, Norway, Sweden, Holland, and Finland have all promised or actually sent troops to defend the frozen assets so desired by King Trump.
Knowing that the world order, however shaky, was not safe from Trump, the ever so well-connected investigative reporters of Kruscontrol can now bring you a scoop. Today we are able to report today that the leaders of NATO have held secret meetings with Vladimir Putin, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, and a large number of the world’s most powerful heads of state. Before any other news organization, we at Kruscontrol bring you the entirety of the joint communique to be issued tomorrow by these powerful leaders ushering in a new world order. And we quote:
For many years, the countries of NATO, the republic of Ukraine, and the nation-state of Russia have had many disagreements and thought of each other as enemies. In short, we have lacked a common ground or a common cause. But recent events have changed this state of affairs. We now recognize that we have one central belief, one key element, that is common to us all and serves to unite us in a world-wide brotherhood: a universal disdain and loathing for Donald Trump.
It is because of this that Russia and Ukraine have agreed to cease hostilities and embrace one another as co-members of the new NATO. In addition, given the shared aversion for this man that unites us all, we are announcing that the sovereign nations of China and North Korea have been admitted to NATO as non-voting affiliates. Moreover, we are open to the engagement of other nations, whom we believe to be numerous, that hold the same sense of hatred and contempt. Recognizing that this steadfast and growing alliance of autonomous nations goes far beyond the geographically limited “North Atlantic” term that was initially in our name, but also recognizing the respect and familiarity held throughout the world for this great abbreviation, we proudly announce that today we are the new NATO:
Nations Against Trump Organization
