0
0
At the Biden Camp
“So Joe, here are the fact sheets. If you want to be prepared for the debate Tues night, it’s very important that you do some serious studying. There’s COVID stats and unemployment trends to know, and I want you to be able to rattle off data on climate change and police shootings. Any responsible candidate has to have these facts at his fingertips.”
“Thanks guys. That’s a lot of stuff to study, but I’ll do my best. Although we’d never admit it in public, we all know my brain isn’t what it used to be, but with enough effort I think I can master it all.”
“We know that this is hard work for you, but you’ll be glad you put in the effort when you have all the facts at your fingertips.”
“I may be old, but I’m neither stupid nor feeble. Load me up with the info and I’ll be able to back up every argument I make.”
Campaign aides among themselves: “It looks as we’ve done all we can do. The old man sounds like he’s as ready as he’s ever gonna be.”
################################################################
At the Trump Camp
“Mr. President, it’s time to do some debate prep.”
“Go away, I’m watching Hannity.”
“But sir—“
“I said go away. If I don’t get my daily dose of Hannity, Ingraham, and Carlson, I’m lost. And you know, guys, that listening to them is whole lot better than listening to you. Fox is where I get my info, that’s how I stay informed about everything that’s important.”
“But sir—“
“Anyway, I don’t trust the stuff you give me. When I watch Fox I know that I’ve got the unfiltered truth, so leave me alone. And those guys don’t give me stuff to read. Geez, you know I can’t stay with the printed page for more than a couple of sentences. Go away.”
“But sir, if we want to court the Black vote, wouldn’t you agree that you need some facts to convince those folks?”
“Look, it’s neck and neck between me and Lincoln as to who’s helped those colored people the most. That’s what I believe, and that makes it the truth. As long as I can speak, I can pass along facts, even if they’re facts that I just made up.”
Campaign aides among themselves: “It looks as if we’ve done all we can do. Il Duce sounds like he’s as ready as he’s ever gonna be.”
I’m not sure If my nerves will allow me to watch it (great pic of Il Duce!)