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It’s amazing the apps available to us these days. I found one recently, Candidatebuilder, which promised a sure-fire way to create the ideal presidential nominee. It relied upon an unusual algorithm, but I figured I’d give it a try. Instead of entering the characteristics that were most desirable, you did the exact opposite. You selected 4-5 characteristics, along with some brief annotations, listing the traits that would turn out the worst candidate humanly possible, and it promised to do the rest. Oh well, here goes.
Old. Voters aren’t attracted to elderly candidates. If the prospect of a second term suggests the possibility of turning the White House into an assisted living facility, that’s not so good. So I’d rule out anyone who is at least three quarters of the way to the century mark.
In poor health. People can accept that we all experience bouts of illness, but, for instance, a history of a heart ailments isn’t a good prognosis for long-term survival in the world’s most stressful occupation. Whatsmore, old and in poor health is even worse.
Crotchety. Voters like people who smile, who clap them on the back, who kiss their babies. The last thing we want in a candidate is one who does a lot of complaining and posturing and ranting. Possible presidents who get red in the face and finger point never get elected.
Far to one side of the political spectrum. If you want to win an election, you need someone who can appeal to both sides, not an idealogue, whether on the left or the right. The worst possible candidate, for instance, would be the one person who was furthest to the left of any member of Congress, whether the Senate or the House of Representatives. He or she would be painted as a dangerous outlier by the opposition candidate and would scare the daylights out of too many potential voters.
Jewish. Biases die hard. We’ve had a black president, but never a Jewish one, and there are still some people who aren’t happy with the idea of lighting a menorah rather than a Christmas tree in front of the White House. If, however, the candidate were Jewish, the double whammy, the kiss of death, is if pro-Israel Jewish voters worried that, in spite of his religion, the candidate was more pro-Palestinian than he was pro-Zionist.
I was proud that I had done the app credit, and excited to to see what it would produce now that I had described the hypothetical candidate most likely to be absolutely trounced in a US presidential election. As I was just about to hit Enter, CNN announced the results of the Nevada caucuses, and referred to the clear front-running Democrat.
Then I said, “Oops.”
