0
0
In a White House briefing this morning, Pete Hegseth, surrounded by JD Vance and the Joint Chiefs of Staff, made a momentous announcement:
Gentlemen, we are safer today because of the world-wide monitoring of the seas and the skies by our ever-powerful and brilliant Commander-in-Chief Donald Trump. Due to our strength and diligence, not only have we have closed off drugs and oil coming on the seas through Venezuela, but now we have put all of the drug traffickers and forces of evil on notice that we will track them down no matter whether they threaten us by land, sea, or air.
At precisely midnight this evening, the US Air Force picked up on radar a large, suspicious shipment at approximately 2,000 feet over Greenland. Disguised as a sleigh, we immediately determined it was a direct threat, and Operation Ho-Ho-Homeland was initiated. Thirty seven aircraft from the 149th Flight Squadron and the 461st Air Control Group left highly secret command centers and tracked those bastards down. This so-called sleigh made occasional evasive maneuvers by landing on roofs, but they were no match for our skill and mighty arsenal.
We immediately took down the leader of their squadron in spite of the offensive red laser beam emanating from its nose, and were able to pick off the other members of this dangerous squadron one by one. The sled then fell to earth and was smashed to smithereens. Somehow, the terrible leader of this enemy grouping was still alive and attempting to climb back on his sled and call in reinforcements.
But you can sleep easy tonight. We got that bastard, and he’ll never be able to do his evil deeds again. Thank you, Mr Trump, and God bless the United States of America.
