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In a startling development, the Lone Ranger, a long-time supporter of Donald Trump, has announced that he will no longer wear a mask. Tonto, who was a backer of Bernie Sanders, says he will continue to wear his. In a press conference yesterday, the Indian sidekick of the formerly masked man said, “The outlaws will still fear the masked man, but this time it will be me. Isn’t that right, Kemosabe.”
Asked for comment on the situation, the Phantom of the Opera told the Washington Post, “I wear mine to hide my hideous face. I first got the idea when I sat under a tanning lamp too long and my skin turned bright orange. I would recommend that people with bright orange skin wear theirs all the time so that people will not be reviled by the sight of them.”
Then we have Donald Trump, unmasked. Literally true, but also a metaphor. Donald Trump is there for all to see. For all the public denials of being a racist, of being misogynist, in reality he makes little attempt to mask his preferences and his aversions. In his version of the universe, we have good guys and bad guys, the right way and the wrong way. There is my way or the highway, just ask all those former staff members who weren’t able to mask their aversion to his nefarious ways.
Donald Trump, President of COVID nation, is unabashedly unmasked. Wearing a mask is an admission of weakness, says he. Macho men don’t wear masks. Macho men don’t give in to the virus, don’t admit that there is something to fear out there. Macho men don’t change a thing about their behavior in spite of the risk, even when rational men would. And, by the way, even if I get sick, a swig or two of hydroxychloroquine will make it all better.
Trump must delight in photos of his trips to factories and auto plants, all those around him masked, all of them admitting their weakness and recognizing his greatness. He must enjoy the images of others cowering behind their cloth coverings, awed by the fact that only one mighty figure amongst them has no need to fear.
Who wouldn’t aspire to such greatness. Who wouldn’t want to say, “I’m strong and unafraid. Bring it on.” I’d have little problem with being openly defiant if those who shunned the mask when congregated with others were only hurting themselves. But we have lost more than 100,000 people to this illness in such a short time, and there will be many more.
We long for the day when we find our old mask, all balled up and sitting at the bottom of a drawer, and recall that time of madness, of the Corona virus (and the Trump virus), a long-past, sad memory. “I remember you, old fella,” I’d say to that yellowed cloth covering, “you protected me well.”
But till then I’m wearing my mask if there’s anyone at all nearby. My guess is that this will multiply my odds of avoiding becoming another sad statistic. And my guess is that those who don’t are far more likely to add to that terrible total.
So, Tonto, let me offer some advice. Fighting the bad guys makes it hard to keep socially distanced. But remember also that you have to watch out for that quirky partner of yours if he won’t wear his mask. And stay well.
Hi-ho Silver. Away.
Another good one, ED!