Every day I read stories about how Donald Trump is leading in key swing states, and I try to laugh them off as far-too-early predictions. Then I go to sleep worrying of a United States ruled by a man who is not only a charlatan, but a scary demagogue.
Lying awake at night, I wish that Joe Biden was better liked. I wish that Joe Biden wasn’t so old. I wish for a better Democratic candidate. After all, they haven’t held the nominating convention yet. It’s not too late to come up with a last-second popular alternative–and no, I certainly don’t mean RFK Jr or Cornel West.
Oh Michelle. Michelle, Michelle. Like Madonna, Elvis, or Oprah, we don’t need a second name to know who you are—although including the Obama moniker isn’t a bad addition. If only you didn’t hate politics. If only you could agree to serve for just four years. You don’t even have to stick around for a second term. Just sacrifice four years of your life to rid the country of the Orange Stain.
And, by the way, we have every reason to think that you can do even better than that fellow Barack. And, although you won’t say it publicly, we know that you think so too.
But okay, I know you’ve been asked before and said, emphatically, that you won’t do it. Too much backbiting, too much mudslinging, too much tsuris.
And, Oprah, although I’m not sure how well you’d do, I wish you’d step forward. Yes, I know that it’s just too easy traipsing through life as a beloved and fabulously rich celebrity. Why should you take on the sort of massive responsibility that you’re not really prepared for when you can be offering advice, pushing products, and making lots of money. Still, ready or not, as sure as I know that you’d win I know that you won’t throw your stylish hat into the ring.
So I’ve got my new dark horse, one George Stephanopoulos.
Didn’t you ever wonder why none of those well-known and respected national reporters didn’t ask themselves: Why should I be interviewing these nitwits? Why shouldn’t I be the one giving the answers and making the decisions rather than deferring outwardly to the power-hungry and often barely literate people who actually run this country?
Showing my age, I know that I would have voted for Walter Cronkite rather than almost any of the politicians, Democratic or Republican, that he covered. I always got Huntley and Brinkley confused, but I’d have gladly taken either over Nixon or Ford.
And then there’s George Stephanopoulos. Not the George Stephanopoulos who engages in inane TV conversations with that great intellect Michael Strahan. I’m thinking of the previous incarnation of George Stephanopoulos, the guy who was dead center in the inner circle of Bill Clinton’s regime. The guy who was advising Clinton and setting policy on critical issues, local and international. The George Stephanopoulos who graduated summa cum laude in political science from Columbia. The George Stephanopoulos who, at 63, is still in his prime. The George Stephanopoulos who is smart, thoughtful, and engaging.
I know what a soft life you have on Good Morning America. But you and I both know that Joe Biden would gladly step aside the moment he knew that there was a Democratic alternative who could beat the Orange Dragon.
No more morning TV small talk. Step up, George, and be the man. And save your country.